2 years ago I had a "bullshit job" working for a mid-sized company. One of those jobs where you dreaded someone asking you what you do because, frankly, I didn't do much of anything. On paper I knew what my job was, but it was one of those things where you get lost in the shuffle, and on top of that you're remote so you don't really interact with people all day. My boss, a middle manager, was so worried about getting sacked that he didn't really give a fuck what I did as long as I didn't attract attention and I handed in my paperwork. I was deeply depressed and suicidal, even though I owned a home and had a beautiful fiance. So, yes, I agree that meaning is extremely important. I sat down one day and thought long and hard about what I wanted. On one hand, I had stability, safety. I could climb my way up if I really wanted to. On the other hand, I was pretty sure I was going to off myself if I had to keep a job like that. A lifetime of doing nothing. A passionate person who wanted to do something, anything, that was good for the world.
I quit my job and went back to grad school to become a social worker. On paper, it was an awful decision. But that's only if you care about finances. There is no balance sheet for the currency of the soul. I look forward to my days now. I absolutely love helping people. Every day is interesting and different and full of vibrant characters. I feel like if I don't get to work, people will literally be worse off for it. The hours go by fast because I'm not dreading every minute. Some days I forget to eat because I'm so engaged in my work. And you know what? Yeah, grad school is expensive and I don't get paid anything as an intern, but because I'm passionate about my job and have a genuine smile on my face (and because I've actually been doing the schoolwork and can recite a thing or two), I've gotten multiple job offers that are really decent. If I do 2 more years of training I can get my clinical license and make a lot more if I'm so worried about it. I've also stopped drinking and drugging completely. I didn't even intend to! I just noticed, more and more, that I had no misery I was trying to bury at the end of the day. One night I was drinking a beer and realized "I don't even want this" and poured it down the sink.
There's a message in there I try to impart on young (or lost) people: find something meaningful to you. I'm not saying money isn't important; I'm saying having meaning is important too. You can't take a job that is only about money and expect to be fulfilled. You have to find something in the middle, which can take a little exploring. You have to be brave and willing to make changes. It's okay to quit. It's your life. Your responsibility. And you have to be careful with your commitments. Once you're a parent, for example, the stakes can change. If you develop a health condition, like obesity or addiction, just to "cope" with your soul-sucking job, you're that much more stuck with that job. So maintaining your freedom is important too. But, barring that, fear is the real mind-killer. People become complacent and they think the world will end if they quit their jobs and try something else. They fear losing the "progress" they've made in a career they hate.
I know those are some broad strokes and life is more complicated than that but I just wanted to share.
On the same trajectory myself but going for LMFT. The career change in my 40s feels Sisyphisian but it's worth it, to your point. To WANT to work is rare and qe found it. Better late than never though
This dichotomy, between individual and universal, leaves out everything that matters in most people's lives.
Where is the friend, neighbour, the partner? Where is the job well done, the challenge overcome?
At a funeral, the stories we tell are not about profound philosophical truths, nor yet about selfish desires. They are about love. The simple, immediate, and real lives we lead.
And it is this, above all, that the modern world has stolen from us.
Profoundly important comment Steve thank you. I’m writing a new entry that builds on this. I only touched on the relational and the things we do out of love when I touched on being in harmony with people, things and nature. It deserves a much more significant treatment.
What's astonishing to me about being employed though and having to spend most of our lives serving someone else's vision is that we are expected to be thrilled about it. There's a culture where we can't even be honest about a job just being a job anymore because the expectation (or pretence) is that this in fact should be what gives meaning to our lives.
Wasn't expecting this to be as long as it was but I actually went through the whole thing. Glad I did. Been stuck on the same things the past few weeks.
One thing I've realised in the past few days is that sacrifice is truly underrated for us. Like you say with the transactional choices we leave no room for sacrifice and to prefer something bigger than ourselves. But the truth is that people love to sacrifice and we've forgotten that. People are scared to take that step. Even myself but when I have sacrificed even just a little bit I find an intense satisfaction and purpose. We have to learn to be happy to sacrifice again by our own will. People already know what it means.
When we sacrifice for ourselves that's discipline. Sacrificing for the family is filial piety and loyalty and sacrificing for the state is a citizen's duty.
Also incomplete thought: People seem programmed to be gratified by sacrificing for the success of a group to accomplish something bigger than themselves. Speaking for myself, the result of a group project where we suffer and struggle and fight and achieve something in the end to be proud is a lasting euphoria.
Still sounds like A Brave New World scenario. I find most group projects excruciating. But respect to your experience for sure - especially if your work is meaningful - I’ve experienced that. If it’s not, mutual suffering can also be an affirming.
"I also began to notice how calm I felt in Italy for extended periods, even when working from there, so it wasn't due to being on vacation. I could feel my nervous system settle. I noticed how I began to find the famous Italian inefficiency charming."
What if the dichotomy actually doesn’t exist ? Is it possible that the belief/acceptance of that separation is a fundamental meta-structure that creates the experience of separation ?
Two thoughts:
"It is not through sin that the Devil opposes God. the Devil's strategy for our times is to trivialize human existence. And to separate you from me, and us from them."
> The classical thinkers aspired to virtue and excellence, setting their sights on ideals of character and moral greatness. In contrast, modern thought is fixated on fear of death, comfort, productivity, and consumption.
Maybe you're oversimplifying it a bit. Yes, in the ancient times some of us would still be naive(?) enough as to tell people that there is better way to live their life (than being fixated on death, comfort, productivity, and consumption). Some literally killed themselves trying to open other people's eyes to their condition. But they all failed, and eventually we came to accept that if there is a way to communicate these ideas to "the masses", we are yet to find it.
So, for the time being, we just let them live as they are while we are working on the solution.
"Once you get past all the Mr. Vinsons, you're going to start getting closer and closer--that is, if you want to, and if you look for it and wait for it to the kind of information that will be very, very dear to your heart.
Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry." (J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Ray)
OKAY HELLO I JUST FINISHED AND I AM AMAZED AND I HAVE RESTACKED EVERY THIRD SENTENCE I AM IN AWE AND I MUST MEET YOU AT SOME POINT IN MY LIFE SO WE CAN CHAT ABOUT ALL OF THESE THINGS. Consider me a fan but also I know IRL we would be friends because I am thinking about these same things all the time, more so from a religious perspective than a philosophical but !!! YES TO ALL THANKS FOR SHARING
Great piece Omar. Just one addition: to me the word "community" means the entire living community of this planet. We haven't just turned our backs on each other we have turned our backs on the rest of the world; that part of the world that maintains the oxygen in the atmosphere, that provides the rock and wood for our structures and that helps circulate water. This living community is also where we can find meaning. Life built and maintains the planet for life. It is a community effort. We have turned our back to that and in the process are dismantling our exterior and interior lives. This planet is absolutely, positively astounding and breathtaking (and breath-giving). If we could only agree and focus on that. Imagine.....
Reading this, I'm reminded of Proust's claim, oft-quoted, that "real life, life finally uncovered and clarified, the only life in consequence lived to the full, is literature."
It is, he contends, through attending creatively and deeply to our lives, in a sense as literature and through literature, that we really live them.
Great article. I like the quote by Kirsten Powers about the "productivity fetish" in the US.
So the problem is about not having enough time (because work demands more and more time), and not doing anything meaningful even if we have enough time.
The "productivity fetish" can actually be fixed by a simple change within the markets-based system: No investor should ever be allowed to own (parts of) a company and forever extracting gains from it, thereby creating a need for continous growth and productivity gains.
Instead, investors should only be allowed to lend money and only getting interest payments until the money has been paid back. After that point, no additional pressure on the company to grow or cut costs.
It's beautiful, because it retains the innovative nature of capitalism.
2 years ago I had a "bullshit job" working for a mid-sized company. One of those jobs where you dreaded someone asking you what you do because, frankly, I didn't do much of anything. On paper I knew what my job was, but it was one of those things where you get lost in the shuffle, and on top of that you're remote so you don't really interact with people all day. My boss, a middle manager, was so worried about getting sacked that he didn't really give a fuck what I did as long as I didn't attract attention and I handed in my paperwork. I was deeply depressed and suicidal, even though I owned a home and had a beautiful fiance. So, yes, I agree that meaning is extremely important. I sat down one day and thought long and hard about what I wanted. On one hand, I had stability, safety. I could climb my way up if I really wanted to. On the other hand, I was pretty sure I was going to off myself if I had to keep a job like that. A lifetime of doing nothing. A passionate person who wanted to do something, anything, that was good for the world.
I quit my job and went back to grad school to become a social worker. On paper, it was an awful decision. But that's only if you care about finances. There is no balance sheet for the currency of the soul. I look forward to my days now. I absolutely love helping people. Every day is interesting and different and full of vibrant characters. I feel like if I don't get to work, people will literally be worse off for it. The hours go by fast because I'm not dreading every minute. Some days I forget to eat because I'm so engaged in my work. And you know what? Yeah, grad school is expensive and I don't get paid anything as an intern, but because I'm passionate about my job and have a genuine smile on my face (and because I've actually been doing the schoolwork and can recite a thing or two), I've gotten multiple job offers that are really decent. If I do 2 more years of training I can get my clinical license and make a lot more if I'm so worried about it. I've also stopped drinking and drugging completely. I didn't even intend to! I just noticed, more and more, that I had no misery I was trying to bury at the end of the day. One night I was drinking a beer and realized "I don't even want this" and poured it down the sink.
There's a message in there I try to impart on young (or lost) people: find something meaningful to you. I'm not saying money isn't important; I'm saying having meaning is important too. You can't take a job that is only about money and expect to be fulfilled. You have to find something in the middle, which can take a little exploring. You have to be brave and willing to make changes. It's okay to quit. It's your life. Your responsibility. And you have to be careful with your commitments. Once you're a parent, for example, the stakes can change. If you develop a health condition, like obesity or addiction, just to "cope" with your soul-sucking job, you're that much more stuck with that job. So maintaining your freedom is important too. But, barring that, fear is the real mind-killer. People become complacent and they think the world will end if they quit their jobs and try something else. They fear losing the "progress" they've made in a career they hate.
I know those are some broad strokes and life is more complicated than that but I just wanted to share.
‘There is no balance sheet for the currency of the soul.’ might the most beautiful sentence ever. Thanks.
i really really really needed this. thank you. 🩷
What a brilliant comment. I needed to read this. Thank you.
If you wrote a post about the spirit of this or even just shared this as a note, that would be fantastic
Here ya go. I’m swamped with grad school so maybe I’ll do a longer post in the future
https://substack.com/@nervgal/note/c-96949957?r=2mwmhx&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
On the same trajectory myself but going for LMFT. The career change in my 40s feels Sisyphisian but it's worth it, to your point. To WANT to work is rare and qe found it. Better late than never though
That’s a wonderful story. I wish you luck with your new career. I wish more people would take your oath.
Yes. Well said. Passion.
Thank you so much for sharing. You given me hope❤️
Once you think about others instead of yourself, you begin to feel better.
What I tell my kids. Follow your heart. But first: Know your heart. Sounds like you've figured it out. Thanks for sharing!
Allen G - thank you. I enjoyed your comment as much as the post. Hope!
This dichotomy, between individual and universal, leaves out everything that matters in most people's lives.
Where is the friend, neighbour, the partner? Where is the job well done, the challenge overcome?
At a funeral, the stories we tell are not about profound philosophical truths, nor yet about selfish desires. They are about love. The simple, immediate, and real lives we lead.
And it is this, above all, that the modern world has stolen from us.
Profoundly important comment Steve thank you. I’m writing a new entry that builds on this. I only touched on the relational and the things we do out of love when I touched on being in harmony with people, things and nature. It deserves a much more significant treatment.
Looking forward to it.
Exactly check my writings ,:)
What's astonishing to me about being employed though and having to spend most of our lives serving someone else's vision is that we are expected to be thrilled about it. There's a culture where we can't even be honest about a job just being a job anymore because the expectation (or pretence) is that this in fact should be what gives meaning to our lives.
this would be a matter of determining where your fulfillment comes from though yes?
I suppose yes. And it comes from various things, from work too in a way, but work is not necessary the most important thing among these.
A very American thing.
Wasn't expecting this to be as long as it was but I actually went through the whole thing. Glad I did. Been stuck on the same things the past few weeks.
One thing I've realised in the past few days is that sacrifice is truly underrated for us. Like you say with the transactional choices we leave no room for sacrifice and to prefer something bigger than ourselves. But the truth is that people love to sacrifice and we've forgotten that. People are scared to take that step. Even myself but when I have sacrificed even just a little bit I find an intense satisfaction and purpose. We have to learn to be happy to sacrifice again by our own will. People already know what it means.
When we sacrifice for ourselves that's discipline. Sacrificing for the family is filial piety and loyalty and sacrificing for the state is a citizen's duty.
Thoughts incomplete.
Also incomplete thought: People seem programmed to be gratified by sacrificing for the success of a group to accomplish something bigger than themselves. Speaking for myself, the result of a group project where we suffer and struggle and fight and achieve something in the end to be proud is a lasting euphoria.
Still sounds like A Brave New World scenario. I find most group projects excruciating. But respect to your experience for sure - especially if your work is meaningful - I’ve experienced that. If it’s not, mutual suffering can also be an affirming.
"I also began to notice how calm I felt in Italy for extended periods, even when working from there, so it wasn't due to being on vacation. I could feel my nervous system settle. I noticed how I began to find the famous Italian inefficiency charming."
It's not a co-incidence. Italy originated the slow-food movement, which also led to the slow-journalism movement: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_Food
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Slow_journalism
Are you saying the solution is to simply find a job you love and spend more time helping your local community?
I say it. Yes
Brilliant essay, Omar! You've articulated where I've been for a long time—this dichotomy between me and we, meaninglessness and a meaningful life.
What if the dichotomy actually doesn’t exist ? Is it possible that the belief/acceptance of that separation is a fundamental meta-structure that creates the experience of separation ?
Two thoughts:
"It is not through sin that the Devil opposes God. the Devil's strategy for our times is to trivialize human existence. And to separate you from me, and us from them."
Phillip Zimbrado (Stanford)
Questioner: How are we to treat others?
Ramana Maharshi: There are no others.
> The classical thinkers aspired to virtue and excellence, setting their sights on ideals of character and moral greatness. In contrast, modern thought is fixated on fear of death, comfort, productivity, and consumption.
Maybe you're oversimplifying it a bit. Yes, in the ancient times some of us would still be naive(?) enough as to tell people that there is better way to live their life (than being fixated on death, comfort, productivity, and consumption). Some literally killed themselves trying to open other people's eyes to their condition. But they all failed, and eventually we came to accept that if there is a way to communicate these ideas to "the masses", we are yet to find it.
So, for the time being, we just let them live as they are while we are working on the solution.
"Once you get past all the Mr. Vinsons, you're going to start getting closer and closer--that is, if you want to, and if you look for it and wait for it to the kind of information that will be very, very dear to your heart.
Among other things, you'll find that you're not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You're by no means alone on that score, you'll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept records of their troubles. You'll learn from them if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It's a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn't education. It's history. It's poetry." (J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Ray)
OKAY HELLO I JUST FINISHED AND I AM AMAZED AND I HAVE RESTACKED EVERY THIRD SENTENCE I AM IN AWE AND I MUST MEET YOU AT SOME POINT IN MY LIFE SO WE CAN CHAT ABOUT ALL OF THESE THINGS. Consider me a fan but also I know IRL we would be friends because I am thinking about these same things all the time, more so from a religious perspective than a philosophical but !!! YES TO ALL THANKS FOR SHARING
Great piece Omar. Just one addition: to me the word "community" means the entire living community of this planet. We haven't just turned our backs on each other we have turned our backs on the rest of the world; that part of the world that maintains the oxygen in the atmosphere, that provides the rock and wood for our structures and that helps circulate water. This living community is also where we can find meaning. Life built and maintains the planet for life. It is a community effort. We have turned our back to that and in the process are dismantling our exterior and interior lives. This planet is absolutely, positively astounding and breathtaking (and breath-giving). If we could only agree and focus on that. Imagine.....
Thank you
For centuries when we used the word “Nature” (even in dictionaries) it was always considered separate from human beings.
The destruction from that single illusion has been and is destructive beyond belief.
And sadly, the people who held the Earth as one we destroyed.
Having defined all indigenous peoples as “Nature”.
Yes and that's painful. We are enot separated from nature. I wrote about it a while ago
The meaning crisis is something I think about a lot. I appreciated your synthesis and how you weaved together various threads of causality.
I'd suggest two solutions:
1) Go find some awe: https://andrewperlot.substack.com/p/a-charm-against-life-weariness-and?r=1xulhu
3) Find your spiritual handcuffs: https://open.substack.com/pub/andrewperlot/p/why-im-not-religious-im-just-spiritual?r=1xulhu&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=false
ANDREW! Thank you for the wonderful solutions. I recently discovered your writings and am a fan. We must maintain a correspondence.
Sounds great!
Fully agree Greta writing keep going :)
Well described. And yes Confucius but also Plato in his Republic had society as a priority but could only be achieved with sovereign citizens.
I think I've written something parallel to what you have in this article. I'd be interested in your thoughts on a different take.
https://shorturl.at/oyqs1
Reading this, I'm reminded of Proust's claim, oft-quoted, that "real life, life finally uncovered and clarified, the only life in consequence lived to the full, is literature."
It is, he contends, through attending creatively and deeply to our lives, in a sense as literature and through literature, that we really live them.
This is wonderful
Great article. I like the quote by Kirsten Powers about the "productivity fetish" in the US.
So the problem is about not having enough time (because work demands more and more time), and not doing anything meaningful even if we have enough time.
The "productivity fetish" can actually be fixed by a simple change within the markets-based system: No investor should ever be allowed to own (parts of) a company and forever extracting gains from it, thereby creating a need for continous growth and productivity gains.
Instead, investors should only be allowed to lend money and only getting interest payments until the money has been paid back. After that point, no additional pressure on the company to grow or cut costs.
It's beautiful, because it retains the innovative nature of capitalism.
This is the best post I’ve read on this app.